I have had bad days, when my words

have been misinterpreted, my actions

mistaken, my shame and hatred

of my own self carried around for ever

after, pinned to my chest

like a gleaming medal sparkling

on parade, polished with pride

by some other shmuck in my skin

and specially made

for the stupid, crass,

ignorant and argumentatively

stubborn. I have been all that at times.

 

I have kicked downwards when pain

was bad but I have also kicked upwards

when the ache threatened to send me over,