We are so sorry to inform you

that we are going to have to close you down and take your licence away

after finding disturbing material on your premises, now be careful what you do

or indeed what you say,

for there is no arguing with the evidence of you supplying hard

karaoke to the citizens of this town,

lethal stuff that would confound the most elegant sounding of any bard

and in which it sounds like cats you are trying to drown.

I charge you with section 101 of the criminal penal act,