I wonder what happened to the woman

who once claimed

with moral authority

that it took over a hundred hours

to get ready for a date.

I never did understand

what the hell would take so long

in a society where the expectations

are high and the results

are often low.

Clean my teeth, that takes time,

I hate having bad teeth, wash my hair,

grew a beard so I didn’t have to shave

and kept it unruly

like my hair, knots in which the hairdresser

casually suggests the Bruce Willis look,

but I am not that cool

or thin

or dynamic

or a hit with the opposite sex

to care and besides

short hair makes me look

like a thug, a man to be wary of,

to wonder if I am ferocious.

Uncomfortable in my own skin

I am at least ready to roll

at a few minutes notice

but then again I guess

nobody is secretly judging me,

at least not for my looks anyway.

 

Ian D. Hall 2016