It never mattered to me until now,

because I knew he was wrong,

I half let it slide, I let it stew and fester,

I allowed it to simmer in the background,

but it has to be said

I paid it no attention, just like I paid no thought

to the Religious Education lesson I once attended

and to whom this day my knowledge

of the Bible still outranks

some of the supposed learned people

who have studied it, because my thoughts

are not blinded by tunnel vision, love who you love,

pray to who you pray, if you’re not hurting

someone by doing so then why the Hell should I care.

It never mattered to me

but now on the cusp of such momentum

I find the call of the Whisky bottle

urging me to drop all in favour

and cling to the darkness, fight

tooth and nail and gnawed down claw

to grip with dread against the sides of The Wall

and stay in comfort blind, comfort in growing desperation

and frightened, lost and a little confused

by the cheers and good wishes;

I remember back to my school’s career advisor

when he snorted that I wanted to be a poet,

writer of locked down words and his suggestion I join the army

if only to get a proper haircut,

I now raise a finger to him and feel free.

Ian D. Hall 2016