You terrify me, seriously.

I see your name as it flashes past

on social media as you send me a message

and I do my very best to ignore it,

your passive aggressive demands

and the insistence on being right

with unsurpassed arrogance

makes me wonder if one day

you might just,

in a fit of misplaced superior rage,

find the gun to your liking

and take me out of the game,

I am

terrified of you.

 

Or is it that I’m afraid of your lack of humility,

the lack of modesty or reserve that resides

in those wild, surely violent and certainly feral eyes

that even on a picture meant to display

charm somehow just comes across as mean,

not moody, not magnificent,

just plain old mean,

the type of lad at school

who got off on pulling the legs off spiders

and watching them struggle,

disoriented till they got bored

and set fire to them and watched

as the body smouldered and finally overpowered;

I will not be your playground insect

nor your birthday fuck

but I am afraid of you.

I am terrified.

 

Ian D. Hall 2015