Having recently had the pleasure of a gift
bestowed upon me, Time, albeit for a solitary
obliging minute, I found that I was not content
in how I handled it, I gave myself Time, but I didn’t
give any of it away
as I should have done
with a smile,
a handshake that was denied me by one,
and even if I cursed under my breath
and the taste of craw and carrion ticks
that scuttle around at the back
of the throat, that delight in the act of living like
tiny birds in a crocodiles mouth, I would smile
and be contrite and give me the minute in which I
took from you in which to make amends.
For the record that was scratched
because at the age of nine I thought
your music sucked, I know I apologised
and bought you the best of that band years later, but still
I am sorry and in granting the extra minute
I would stop and think about what was to come,
the weeks of silence from a girl I had known since I was four.
For the opinion you asked me for
but gave the answer
you didn’t think I would give,
I would now just shut up
and look at you in the eyes,
deep and brown,
and tell you that you already knew the answer,
it was not my place to give.
I would make it clear that I don’t take sides
thereby saving myself heartache,
although
the end result
of that I believe makes me despair of you
more than it does me.
I wouldn’t have asked you out
when I was but still a kid,
grown up but lonely,
for I know it ruined you,
you have never tired of telling me
in the following
twenty years…
…Time works both ways,
you needn’t have said yes.
I would have fought back, despite my nature
of pacifism, for on that football field I would never
have displaced your knee in sweet
untold revenge…
the snap then music to my ears.
I would never have agreed to leave,
old enough to stay behind,
old enough to bite my savage tongue
for the want of a minute’s brief repose.
All the things I have done, said badly in the heat
of pain I would not do,
however
would you have afforded me
the same injury free slights
if you had that
extra granted minute?
Ian D. Hall 2015