They are retiring the reason for loss of faith.

As the bones will be taken down and will never

adorn the main hall in my lifetime, how Darwin must be laughing

at the peculiar notion that my evolution started not with

an ape or a monkey but with a dinosaur and now that beast

of my burden is leaving home, presumed missing.

Eight years old, dressed in green, no badges yet of note earned

and the first of many visits to the Capital undertaken

with a tour and my paid homage

to Baden Powell and my first experience of  a human dinosaur

and all settled round as everybody ate Oxtail Soup

and they laughed as I ate pea and ham flavouring.

 

The doors of the Natural History Museum

opened up before me, an eight year, been in the cubs for less

than six weeks and the first time that I can remember my mind

being blown out of its tiny Birmingham skull.

I don’t know how it happened but I had got so far in life

without ever hearing of your species, my tiny world exploded

and the brain, full of learned facts about Manchester City,

Peter Barnes, Dennis Tuert, the war in Europe and Sunday School

stories, started to melt and fry.

The other cubs ran wild, every direction possible with Akela rounding them up

like cattle on late summer’s day on a Texan ranch,

no whips, no horses but plenty of snorting from respectable adults

sketching the wonders of another age…

but I stood motionless

at the bottom of your terrifying mouth and I screamed.

 

One of the leaders, came up behind me and placed her hands gently upon

my shoulders and whispered my name, audible above the cacophony

of existence and allowed my big bang to subdue, to gather pace

in another direction. For some unknown reason, when no-one was else

around she insisted in me calling her Angela,

and for all my life she was one of the brightest angels I had seen.

I blurted out what was this strange creature before me,

I didn’t understand.

Smiling, she took my by the hand and sat me down, the cold marble

inviting me to sink further into a different realm, comforted.

I heard about evolution for the first time on that day

and whilst every other young lad flitted from exhibit

to stand to the odd coo of wonder,

I sat rigid and found that all I believed was a lie.

 

Now my reason for evolution is retiring,

from its home and yet though I still hear that eight year old’s

brain melting onto the cold marble floor and remember

with fondness Angela’s kind smile at the thought

of the stupid boy infront of her wiping tears of frustration

away before any other boy came along and made fun,

the clarity was there and it sowed a gentle seed that started

a life time in keeping many dinosaurs alive.

My faith is now in you, no divinity but I have read all

the various words that were bestowed and I understand them

as best as I can but  a  truth to me was revealed in the form of an angel

and extinction.

 

Ian D. Hall 2015.