*Inspired by a newspaper article in which asked William Hague if he could be James Bond, non-stories after all are the best…

No, thank you for asking,

but I can categorically say that I can rule myself

out forever running for Prime Minister,

I have no intention of walking on the moon,

neither shall I don a tuxedo

and play James Bond and kiss Pussy

Galore, as I believe no one could ever hold a candle

to the actress who played her before.

I state here and now for the radio mic