Today Is Not Tomorrow.

Little by little,

it, for it

deserves no other name,

eats away at me, stripping bare

my resolve and my will,

my own mind, my thoughts

of which I knew I was right

even when others treated me like dirt,

my apologies, sincere, full of self loathing

because I had hurt someone…

little by little it is being sapped away

and in it, I hate.

I hate what it is doing to my body,

I hate the small changes

the blood appearing in my piss,

the specks of blood in my cum,

the tiredness I am supposed to overcome…

one day it won’t be easy,

today it is still beatable,

today I still raise a stick to it

and thrash it with all my might,

today… is not tomorrow.


Ian D. Hall 2017