Pixels, Film Review.

Liverpool Sound and Vision Rating 3/10

Cast: Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Michelle Monaghan, Peter Dinklage, Josh Gad, Matt Lintz, Brian Cox, Sean Bean, Jane Krakowski, Dan Aykroyd, Affion Crockett, Lainie Kazan, Ashley Benson, Denis Akiyama, Tom McCarthy.

It is funny how often you can be suckered into watching a film in which you know is going to give you the most amazing premise but somehow has less chance of delivering upon the promise of good times and stomach aching laughter than a President being so well adored that the American voters would allow them any indiscretion going. They wouldn’t even clamour for their impeachment if they were caught in bed playing an out of tune flute whilst whispering sweet nothings to the Russian Ambassador as they talked of handing back Sarah Palin and the state of Alaska back to Moscow.

For the great comedy premise of modern times you don’t have to look any further than Pixels, a film which offers so much but stands by idly as you pick up the cheque and sub it fifty quid to squander on cheap beer and cigarettes.

Great premise, lousy delivery and it is a shame after all for the sight of arcade legends Pac Man, Paperboy and Super Mario destroying the Earth and terrifying the screen is one that could have worked as well as Ghost Busters but in the end, thanks mainly to a completely uninspiring cast, a poorly finished script and the feeling that somehow in the 21st Century American comedy film writers don’t get the concept of irony, arguably of humour either, Pixels is a film in which it could only get worse if it had been allowed to stray beyond its running time.

There are a couple of good moments, the film after all did not descend completely into the realms offered by the absolute fungus induced by Bad Neighbours, still arguably one of the worst films to ever see light of day in the last 100 years but it was a close run thing. The animation involving all the old arcade characters is worth a look and in a less than cynical gesture, it may be suggested that Pac Man and Donkey Kong carry the film on their backs.

A cast that really is out of their depth or even sadly placing their true and enormous talent, such as Sean Bean, Brian Cox and Peter Dinklage, into a venture this bad is never going to be saved. The once saving grace of all is that the prospect of a sequel is lower than a Space Invader crashing into your cannon on the first level after the first minute.

Poorly delivered, unsatisfying and unfortunately more expensive than the quarter players used to put into the arcade games, Pixels just doesn’t have bite.

Ian D. Hall